life is shit

So it’s been an utterly, utterly shithouse few days.

As has been mentioned before on here, I am a Jew. At work, that is a known fact, given that I take the Jewish festivals off from work. 4 weeks ago now, a co-worker made a comment to me about Hitler and gas chambers. Instead of chinning him I did what I thought was the right thing. I went to my line manager and made a complaint. I should have had an inkling of how things were going to go when she told me to laugh it off as a joke. Since then there have been meetings after meetings where I felt under attack.

Also I have been going through some medical problems.

I am intelligent, I am loquacious and have no problem talking. However for the last few months, say around 4 or 5 months, I’ll know the word I want to use, I know the correct context and all that but between my brain and my mouth, it’ll get screwed up. Syllables get jumbled, and I cannot force the damned word out, no matter how hard I try. It’s doesn’t happen all the time but it is happening more often.

So in addition to that being massively frustrating there’s something else. When holding or using something with my hands, I will have to concentrate really damned hard to make my hands do what I want them to do. Its almost like I have to force them to work. I’ve also been dropping things I really shouldn’t be. As above with the speech it’s not a constant problem but it is happening more often.

So at the same time as I made the complaint about the racist jerk at work I also made an appointment with my G.P, after all, better safe than sorry eh?

The appointment was Tuesday evening just gone. Doctor tells me that she is pretty sure it is stress that causing it. She’s given me a course of beta-blockers to deal with it. If they work then great, we know its stress. To that end I have been signed off work for a few days to chill out.

　

However if it is not stress then it is something more serious. That serious thing? Multiple sclerosis.

Life is shit.




Update.....


Have the big meeting at work tomorrow. Thankfully I have got someone coming with me, a brief sent by a Jewish group. Will update you when i know more about what's going on. Normal blogging service will resume at some point. 


As far as medical issues go, I am on a stronger dose of medication now so will see how i go on that. I'm waiting on a letter from the hospital regarding an appointment with  a neurologist so it's just a case of waitin and seeing.